I wish i was better at keeping track. I wish i could take a "snapshot" of every ever-changing moment, especially the moments that relate to Sari. We is growing and maturing so very fast, it seems. May be it seems that way because in our own lives everything has become pretty calm and steady, the week is similar to the previous and the next, the year is filled with fun but repetitive work-play-work-play pattern, and we are not really forming or embarking on anything anymore. But with Sari there is something new each week. It is especially noticeable when she comes back after an extended 'other house' weekend. There were a couple of things that arose lately, i'll try to recall:
New phrase from a couple of weeks back was "I am concerned". She used it correctly, and it pertained to the doll being misplaced. I heard it from the kitchen and had the luxury to let out a giggle.
Another interesting observation: she is curious about everything. When we are listening to the radio, she always asks "what are they talking about?" We try to explain on her level.
A couple of weeks ago, on one fine Saturday, she raised some serious topics. She asked "Are we going to die?" I answered "yes, eventually". She asked "why?" I knew this time she was not speaking of video-game-like temporary condition, but the big philosophical question. She understood the finality of death. I have no idea how it came up. Perhaps someone at school talked about a death of a pet or a loved one, perhaps it was something on the TV at the other house, or a conversation. But this was serious and needed an answer that could be both truthful and age-accessible. I explained that this is nature, we are born, we live, and we die. But it would be a long time from now. She asked "how is it like to die?" I answered that it is just like it is before we are born. She said she was afraid to die, and she didn't want to. We talked about it being something that happens after we live our whole life, and that we yet have many things to do. Daddy joined in talking about nature, and all of the things we all have to do, and how his grandma is still alive, and how we will talk about it more later. I know he talked to her about being born when he was putting her to bed. I imagine he went over all of these things again. But in the morning she was still concerned. After breakfast as her and i were playing in the living room, she asked me again "Are we going to die?". Since by now i already had time to prepare a good answer, i told her "yes, but we can all do something in order to live a longer life. We can do things that help us be healthy, like eating right and exercising, and we can cooperate with other people and help others, and they will help us, and then we will all live longer". This was my big anti-war speech, on the 4-year old level. Without ever actually mentioning "war", i wanted to pass on to her the idea that tolerance and cooperation with others helps us live longer. She seemed to like the message. I think she felt it gave her some of the control over the whole inevitability of death. She said "i am healthy, i eat lots of vitamins. And i help others, and i get along with kids". I answered, "yes, you have a good start on a long life then". And that was the end of that conversation, for now. I wonder when it will pop up next.
Another bit was the 'emotions' week at school. Talking about expressing emotions is important. I put lots of emphasis on it when Sari was little, but considerably slacked off when she got older. It is hard for her to talk about things that are not pleasant. May be its hard for all of us. But talking about them makes them feel better, more removed, less scary, and many things we, adults, can explain to her quite effectively to help her navigate difficult situations. So, now i've heard her say things like "daddy was mad at me and that made me feel sad". In that particular case daddy wasn't mad, he was just being stern ("this is dinner time, not play time"), but the point is that she felt something and she communicated it rather than pouting. i love progress!
Another interesting point, it seems Sari has a good memory, very good. Certain things make an impression on her that we don't even realize. She said she wanted to go to Guatemala. Then she asked "will they take my shoes?" We didn't understand the question, so we asked, she repeated "will they take my shoes?" "Why do you ask that, Sari?" i said. And she replied "because, remember you told me kids in Guatemala don't have shoes". This was funny. Actually, daddy told her that once before, a long while back, in a speech about appreciating what you have, as an example of other kids' hardships. She remembered, and i guess decided that they may take hers. I said, "no, they will not take your shoes, may be they will ask, but you can say 'no, i am sorry, i need my shoes'. She said "i don't want them to take my shoes". She does like having nice shoes :) :)
Then the other day she asked, "How do you spell 'sorry'?". We answered S, O, R, R ... she asked "Another R??" That seemed to really surprised her. I am not sure why she needed to know how to spell it though...
