2021 is upon us. The holiday season was much different than ever. No visit from my parents, no holiday cookie exchanges, no catching up with friends, no skiing trips.
We spent our days off cooped up in the house, working on our kitchen on the weekends and drinking copious amounts of wine in the evenings. Even my weight lifting routine got interrupted by kitchen remodel tasks, and the desire for time to relax and unwind in the evenings.
The kitchen project had been long lasting and all-consuming. It officially started on September 10, when for our anniversary we went to a cabinet warehouse. Carlos was mad he wasted a good cycling day on this, but it was important to me to have us see and talk about kitchen aspects that we liked and did not like. It allowed me to have a good starting point at layout considerations. I spent a ton of time trying to balance "the normal" layout, our limited and weird kitchen space, and my personal desires. Carlos did a computer drawing of the space, which allowed us to plan better. I submitted my ideas to the HOUZZ website people's opinions and got an ear full!!! They did not hold back and identified all of my mistakes, and pointed me in the right direction. Finally Carlos and I met with the cabinet makers and in November (spanning Thanksgiving holiday without a kitchen!!!) it was all installed. Then we had to do our work, including a ton of electrical and lighting, tile and ceiling. It is almost done now, aside from the textured ceiling. And, i must say, the results are quite fabulous! I could not have imagined that everything will work out just great. I have been very nervous about every little decision. I was afraid I would make the wrong choice and have regrets. I was afraid i would spend too much money on something that i would dislike. But, amazingly, it all worked out!! The thing that i am the most excited about is our new normal height kitchen ceiling. It was difficult to convince Carlos that we could try to raise the ceiling. He was really convinced that there was something up there, like duct work, or plumbing, that would be in the way. Finally, when we looked, it was just an open space!! Carlos tore it up and made a new one, and it changes the whole space!! It has been tough for him - construction is definitely not his hobby. He can do it well, but he doesn't love the process. Despite it, he has been working super hard on this project, and sacrificed his cycling days for this work. I know it has been really hard for him, since cycling is the only thing that he truly loves. I intend to let him do as much cycling as his heart desires for the remainder of this year. He earned it.
Complaints aside, we had been fortunate to keep our jobs though this pandemic, and fortunate to stay healthy. Carlos had the fortune to be able to work from home at the most critical moments of the pandemic, making me feel much safer.
Nov 21 our Kuzya passed away suddenly, in the early morning hours of the weekend. It was totally unexpected, as his test results were all perfect just two weeks before that. The night before he was with us in the kitchen, watching us demolish the last part of the counter by the window. He was totally ok, yelling at us as normal. And then we woke up and he was gone. I felt such a sense of loss - he has been the brightest character of this house. With his departure a disbalance was created between Woolly and Marseille and they have been fighting really bad ever since...
As far as our social life, there hasn't been any. We did have a couple of get-togethers with Dasha and family, and one outside gathering with Kenia and family. Other than that, it has been super isolating. Although, i have to admit that i feel plenty isolated in any other year just the same. I have learned to live with it, i suppose. When i do get a chance to socialize with people, i come away feeling mostly tired and slightly bored. It is not because those people are boring, it is because I am boring myself. I stopped growing intellectually, I stopped learning new things and having new experiences. I live day to day, completing busy every-day-tasks. I am a parent and a wife, and a pet parent, and all of those things are important to me, and I wouldn't trade my life for anything, but, it doesn't make me grow and learn, and doesn't provide very much to talk about with others. So, as a result, I don't have very much to connect to other people on. I miss the days when i used to work with other people, when i could interact with the world. I even miss the days when i could go to the gym and, at least, see other people doing their human thing. But i must pick myself up by the bootstraps and get to lifting, because it will make me happier and stronger, and less concerned about all the abovementioned things.
Sara spent the holidays and the rest of the school break in LA. From what i understand, she enjoyed her time. The adjustment back to this household has been tough for her. We tried our best by doing some redecorating in her room. She has a real bed now, a real computer chair and a desk. She bought herself a pretty tapestry for the wall. Black skeletons kissing. Ick. :)
Kayah had started sleeping out of the kennel at night in the last month. She is too big for it anyway, and she should fulfil her guarding duties. She has been happy and healthy, aside from having a sensitive stomach periodically. She is one of the reasons why i don't really want to travel much anymore - I don't want to leave her at daycare for too long, and have her wondering where we are. Or, may be, i don't want to worry about her. Or both.
In a few days it will be 11 years since the day that Carlos and I drove across the country to spend the rest of our lives together. It seems like a long time ago now, when i was full of energy, and health, and ready to take on the world. I think it is the most meaningful anniversary, aside from the day that we met. It was our beginning. It was the best day of the rest of my life. Carlos is a part of me, my soulmate, my life. I am eternally grateful to the universe for connecting us. I couldn't imagine my life without him. I don't have a good way to show my appreciation -- I wish he knew how i feel, but saying it doesn't do the trick. I want to do something special, but not special like making a cake or selyodka pod shuboi, but something really special. I am out of ideas. I know that the only truly special thing to him would be related to cycling, but i fall short in this department. And with covid cooties everywhere there isn't much to do. Need to figure this out.
