Memorial weekends

Last week Sara came from pre-school and told us that Memorial Day is coming, she said: "we must think about those people that fought and died for us". I'm happy she retains more and more of what is introduced to them in pre-school by their wonderful teacher Miss Patricia. She is a bright young lady, not yet jaded, not yet burned out by her profession. I am also happy that Sari is learning that our holidays are not just random reasons to stay home and bake cupcakes, but are reasons to remember and honor someone.

Carlos woke up early to make us our "flower breakfast". He made it for me the weekend prior, but wanted to surprise Sara with it. She is not as easily amused by pretty food, so she actually did some whining and complaining that its not syrniki or blinchiki, but after some adjustment she was able to appreciate the beauty of daddy's surpise.

So, after this glorious breakfast, we kicked off our weekend with the trip to Strawberry Festival at the Garden Grove. The festival has little to do with strawberries, despite the name. It is basically a standard fair and a carnival, with a small parade thrown in upfront. We ended up missing most of the parade. But the day was sunny and bright, and we felt happy to be embraced by the rays of summer.

 We went to this very same event last year, so we knew we needed to go for the wristband option for the unlimited number of "pukies and twirlies".This year was more of the same, with all the same rides. Sara is now 42.5 in, so technically she is old enough to ride all of these by herself, but she wanted me to accompany her, which i did gladly. I still love the sensation of being perpetually rotated, even though i do have to mind my tummy. I noticed as we walked around, she was holding my hand very tight, and even holding on to my bag when my hands were busy with something. This is definitely new, and hopefully is a phase. I don't want her to feel so insecure without us holding her hand, i wish for her to reach for more and more independence as she grows. For now, i rejoice that she is one of the kids smiling ear to ear on the "Jumping Froggy", and not one of the wimps crying to get off!

Daddy got very exhausted waiting for us and walking back and forth all day, since he doesn't ride. I imagine it was quite a bit boring for him, but he was a real trooper and let us hang out until almost 7pm.

On Sunday, after yummy blinchiki with cajeta and fruits, we departed for my favorite local town - Alamitos Bay. Kayaking the canals was our mission of the day. Last year we unsuccessfully attempted to rent a kayak, - they told us she had to be at least 4 years old and know how to swim in open waters. The second requirement is as ridiculous as unverifiable. I mean, what child would be ok to swim in open waters? As a matter of fact, how many adults would be ok to be swimming in open waters of the ocean? Anyways, they have their liability issues, i understand. Anyways, this time the guy started to tell us she had to be 8. When i reminded him of what i was told last year, he gave us the boat, and we paddled out. This was Sara's first time in a kayak. She asked about sharks, but seemed otherwise un-concerned. She looked around, asked to paddle for a moment, touched the water. And i just paddled and breathed the salty air, and rejoiced. Its been a while since i was able to feel the familiar ache in my back, and the smooth glide of the kayak in the water. Oh, how i've missed this!

Although the Californian sit-on-top models of kayaks are not nearly as smooth or pleasant to paddle as real kayaks, it is definitely still enjoyable. I was very happy to introduce my daughter to this passion on mine. I told her how i used to sit in the middle when my parents took me on trips, right around her age. She listened. We found and picked up a floating beach ball. Sari kept it. We paddled around Naples, then out to the end plaza. We docked for a little while to stretch our legs, and came back. Sara was itching to get into the water to go "swimming", so we stopped on the beach for a while, where Sara and i tried to hold our shivers and splash around for a few, while Carlos relaxed on the shore. This part of town always feels like a mini-vacation to me. It may be the look of the canals and small streets, or the half-naked strolling youth, or just the he vibe of the place, but it takes me away. Like a little port town, it seems exotic and fresh. The day ended at "Roe and Fish Market" restaurant in Long Beach, where we enjoyed some fabulous fried smelt, roe bowl, and tuna poke.

On Monday we played at home for a very long while, we threw beach ball to each other, we drew and cut out "food" from different colored construction paper and played restaurant. We goofed around, we laughed, we lived our weekend to the fullest. Then we went for a bike ride with stops at two playgrounds and came home to bake cupcakes.

A beautiful weekend, full of beautiful memories!

Building memories

Today i listened to an NPR program about human memory. Although i didn't learn anything new, it was definitely a reminder that our memory is reconstructive. This, in essence, means that we can control what type of memories we end up collecting as we go thought life, because we control what we put into our bank of precious moments. I would like to put every shiny moment in my memory piggy bank, because they make me feel richer, brighter, and more satisfied with my life. I'll also have to drop in there some of the not-so-pleasant memories that i deem to be necessary for their learning experience value, of course. But for the most part i will continue making an effort to treasure my life, to remember, to appreciate.

This week's memory bank items shell be:

On Tuesday Sara started her swimming lessons. She did great, although she said she didn't like going under water. The teacher was an older Russian woman, and she seemed very good at teaching and staying calm and positive, which is exactly what we need. I hope Sara will progress nicely. They assigned her to level 2, orange cap. I hope by the end of the summer she can float comfortably on her back.

Sara has shared with us yesterday that although her and her pre-school friend Michelle kiss on the cheek, with her friend Nathan they used to kiss on the lips. And they still do, but only once in a while now. I thought "oh-oh...its starting already!" It made me smile. How wonderful it is that she enjoys her school mates, and how much i wish for her to continue encountering people in her life that would make her feel good about being around them.

 We went to have dinner at the Farmer's Market last night. I remembered the very first time Carlos and i were there, on our date, in the morning after the Bunbury concert Nov 5, 2009. I remember where we sat, what we talked about, how i felt that day (i was so shaken up, i was running a fever). I think we have come so far from that moment, and for all of its excitement, i so much appreciate the bond that we have today. Love is everything.

Summer, baseball, us

"Summer is here, summer is here!" twitted birds everywhere. No, really, they did.
This week we had two 90+ degree days for the first time this year.
Last weekend was Mother's day. I was hoping to continue with our tradition of going to Ventura to fly a kite and have a picnic, but Sari wished to go to the beach, and since it was warm enough for the first time this season, we agreed.

First, there was Saturday. While dining on a delicious Einstein Bagel, Carlos came up with a fabulous idea of going to a baseball game to see Dodgers. After fiddling around with iPhone apps, we got our tickets, and after a short picnic at the LaBrea Pits, and a quick shower at home, we headed to the game. This was going to be the very first experience for Sara. She was in attendance of a soccer game last season, but never a baseball. Right away we gave her the highlights of the upcoming evening: there will be popcorn and ice cream. That seemed to be worth the long drive in traffic, and a walk from parking to the stadium. We got a bunch of snacks and settled for a game. Sara asked a few questions, but definitely the game itself lacked the pace or the excitement to keep her interest. Plus, we were sitting pretty high up. But she enjoyed watching the crowd on the big screen, and especially lots of doggies (it so happens that this was a "bring your dog to the game" day, so one whole section of people were with their animals, which were constantly showed on the screen). She also enjoyed listening to the conversation of two pre-teens sitting a row above us and intensely watching the game. She didn't really get squirmy until it was passed her bedtime, and she ate enough popcorn, ice cream, and pretzel to loose interest in it, so only for the last couple of innings she was inquiring when we could leave. So, i'd say it was a successful outing overall.

But that brings me to talk about baseball.
I always hated baseball. I was not familiar with it in my early years, since it is absent from the Russian culture, so i only encountered it in the US on the TV screen, or watched some amatures at local park as i was in passing. My perception was that the game was something very slow, not very athletic, and had ugly uniforms. I never had actually gone to a baseball park, since i saw no point in it. But i was a young woman, not weighted down by obligation and with disposable time and income. Now things are different: i am a busy mom and wife, i am constantly in a rush, not much downtime, and not much extra money to blow. So, my appreciation for baseball came from a different place. Of course, the beginning was that my husband loved it, so he was able to explain to me what is going on. But, the essence of my appreciation for it is different. I do not enjoy it as a "game", like soccer or hockey or basketball, i do not watch it with full attention, on the edge of my seat, because that is just not what baseball is all about to me. I view it as a pass-time, rather than a sport. It is the perfect downtime for the busy moms and dads with their little children. It is 3 hours of sitting outside, breathing air, having your children being completely occupied with watching other children, the screen, or their own popcorn. It is the announcers silly participation items that brake up the pace. It is the cold beer in my hand that i can slowly sip. There is no place to go, there is nothing to do. Snacks are here. Weather is sunny and warm, you can talk to each other, and no one would be disturbed. You can stay silent, and no one would be offended. You can glance at the field at your leisure, or just breath and live this day. This is how i like my baseball.

I will not compete

Competition is a rush, its excitement, it makes you forget about everything else, it is both exhausting and rejuvenating at the same time. It requires the type of single-mindedness that is able to take any pain away. But, at this juncture of my life,

I will not compete.

In this fast world of constant tug of war, I will force myself to slow down to experience my moments. I will stop comparing myself to others who can run faster, look slimmer, bake yummier, and parent calmer. I will always try to learn from them, but I will remain to be myself, embracing my imperfections and allowing time to fine-tune the rough edges, while working on personal goals, one day at a time. I believe this approach will make me a better person, a better wife, and a better parent.

I will not push my daughter to compete.

I will rejoice at my daughter’s accomplishments, encourage bravery, and praise effort, but I will not get stuck measuring her to others. I will continue to teach her how to be kind, how to be truly happy on the inside, and how to work hard. I will nurture her interests, I will speak frankly and openly about “the facts of real life”. I believe this will do more for her future than development of a competitive nature, or any “push for success”.

Those are my thoughts of the day…