The meaning of life

Yesterday as we were driving around, C told me that our ant Carro asked me to translate a phrase about the meaning of life. I do not recall it exactly, but it pointed to the fact that the point of existence is the search for the meaning of life. I thought it was strikingly accurate. I know that i, along with probably 90% of other teenagers had spent many hours agonizing about the meaning of life, discussing and debating it with others. I have also gone the full circle on it, from thinking that the meaning is something that i will eventually find, to postulating that the meaning does not exist at all and we are all just a biological constructs with multiplying and dying cells. My latest conviction was that the meaning was simply to experience joy and to help others do the same. But perhaps it is all much simpler... Perhaps the meaning is in the quest itself. Perhaps we are encoded to look for a meaning in everything, and that is precisely what drives us, moves us ahead. Finding a meaning in the every day little things is meaningful, and also joyful. I treasure my days, i treasure my moments, they are all so fleeting. Everything is ever-changing, even our memories. Every day we gain more insight, and therefore every day we ourselves are different than we were the previous day, and it is magnificent and horrifying at the same time. Do i wish for my partner to be the same enchanting young man i met in Portland? Part of me does, for sentimental reasons, of course, but another part of me wishes for him to always grow, to reach new heights of understanding, to be wiser, happier, etc. Evolution is the natural order of things, and evolution is constant change. Making peace with evolution, fully accepting it, is like granting yourself the permission to be happy. Not having the urge to pull out grey hair, or to get wrinkles removed is part of accepting the evolution. I haven't pulled any grey hair in about a year now, i don't know how many of them i have now, but i know i started with 3 when i was moving to Cali. I still feel like a teenager, but much wiser. I hope i continue to feel the internal youth for years to come. I think one of the reasons why older people don't like to contemplate the meaning of life is because they are secretly afraid that they have missed it already...