dinner time wovs

Some days are just easier than others. From one wise therapist i have learned to appreciate those days and, like a squirrel with a yummy nut, store those memories away for the "winter time" of thunder tantrums and whimpering sobs, in order to get through them without loosing my mind and temper. Based on my empirical evidence i knew that the hard times were coming: S operates on a 2 month mood cycle. But March is here and its not all bad. I find myself being more calm, more patient and more understanding about her difficulties. I think i am consuming some of the stored morsels of joy and appreciation. But i am also storing some away as well: almost every day S finds a moment to tell me that she loves me. It is gratifying to have her in the kitchen with me, helping to cook, listening to instructions, and tasting spices. It is gratifying to hear her speak with confidence some of the little things that she learned from me: about vitamins, about exercise, about helping others to be nicer.
She is learning the rules of life, and the progress is easily visible at this age.
She no longer needs help brushing teeth and no longer throws a cow about it. She no longer cries to be picked up and carried in the morning. She even got dressed all by herself last Friday, including the undershirt and a dress. The issue of the day right now is her setting the table, which we now insist on. Last week it started:
day 1: refusal, timeout, whiny and slow compliance
next day we ate out
day 2: refusal, timeout, failed chance, another timeout, we set the table and ate
day 3: refusal, timeout, whiny daddy-assisted compliance
day 4: compliance
then the weekend with meals away from home, and then on monday:
day 5: refusal, timeout (angry shouting against daddy), then she came out ok and set the table

So, it looks like may be the next time we can get it without the initial time out. 5 days to set the pattern? may be, we will track this further