At the end of the year, summary

 This year is coming to an end. It has been a year of many mixed emotions. 

    C has travelled back to Guatemala several times to look on his sick mom. I have been trying to do my best to be his first line of support. He finds it challenging to reconcile the past, present and future, while remaining in tact to function day to day. I am so very happy that he was able to make it to his European biking trip to have at least something positive and memorable from this year. Due to circumstances we did not take any other vacations, but only small trips.

    My highlight trip was definitely the DEMF this year. It felt so good to re-encounter it after such a long break of 14 years. I was relieved to discover that music was able to take me away in the same manner as it used to do previously, and that i was able to party and after-party for three days non stop without any health consequences or fatigue. It was truly as rim-to-rim-to-rim experience as i had hoped it to be. C and S joined me on the last day. It was a trip to see them in that setting. It felt warm and good and happy to show them the festival. Although S didn't express any interest, she tolerated it well, and C really surprised me at his ability to embrace D&B. It was truly a special trip.

    In November i came back to Michigan when Shura passed away. It was also a convenient way to check on my parents. I made the most of our limited time together. It was weird to see Shura's house without her there, and to think about her in past tense. She was such a force of a woman.

    Because of these trips, my parents decided not to come here for the winter. It is understandable, they are not as mobile as before, My mom had her year of health challenges this year as well, with pacemaker installed, valve replaced, and a long recovery afterwards with AFib resulting. I am also noticing how my fathers memory of recent things is deteriorating. He doesn't really remember if we already discussed something. My mom minimizes this, perhaps because these issues are not serious enough to be an impediment in their regular life at this point, but to me this is definitely an area of concern and things to watch for in the future.

My life has been truly powered by BJJ this year. It is what inspires me, it is what i want to do all the time, and if i am not doing it then i want to read about it, watch videos or listen to podcasts on this topic. In January it will be a year since my first day, and I am happy about my Jujitsuversary. My hopes and dreams are to become better and more imaginative in action, to develop body memory and true spatial awareness when rolling. I don't care about belts at this point, i just want to get decent at this game.