Short assessment of things

 The world has changed. Everything has changed.

No, not just Covid, although Covid redefined everything, changed our habits, our way of life, and our perception of health and safety.

Now dealing with my father’s diagnosis, not having control,  not knowing how it all ends is , once again, redefining my reality.

Ukraine war was the last straw. Holding on to any remaining mental health is proving to be challenging.

Visions of the future are ever so murky. Nothing can take the mind away into a safety zone.

That was the overview of the current situation. Now I will attempt to elaborate. 

    So, back in October my parents came for a visit. Everything was pretty decent up until the last two days, when my dad went off on my mom because she was verbalizing her wish for a new fridge and few other things at the dinner table. So, just like every single visit, something always occurs to mar the experience of hosting them here. I am already plenty accustomed and desensitized to it, but, nonetheless, this further reduced my openness to future meaningful time sharing. And with this went the earlier fantasy of renting a Lake Tahoe house with them in the summer.

    While they were here, we happened to adopt Mika. Mika was a strong little baby and gave us full puppy experience: from peeing everywhere, to destroying the yard, to annoying the living soul out of Kayah. My parents actually were able to help out in the first week of Mika's presence. 

    During the holidays we did nothing, except for hosting Carlos' cousin and his family. It was rather chaotic and a little weird. It seems C did not know them very well, so it made for an awkward few days. And, a few days after they left Sara started the new semester at school and brought us all Omicron (at least as I understand it). I was very concerned due to my autoimmune and C's asthma. It was definitely mild, but did carry some weird symptoms and some after-effects. My weakness and tiredness continues to this day.

    My father got diagnosed with cancer in this groin area lymph nodes. Apparently his prostate surgery in 2005 had not prevented this. The issue is that the doctor stopped checking his PSA levels once he turned 76, and it evolved unnoticed sometime since then. He is handling it extremely well. I am surmising that he knows that if he falls apart, my mom will completely fall apart and he will have to take care of her at that point, so prevention is the key. 

    Every day reading news from Ukraine. I did not think that Putin will go for the actual real war option in his attempt to take over the country. Evil bastard. All of the citizens that chose not to stand against him for the sake of the comfortability of their own wallets have blood on their hands now, as far as i see it.